C U N HELL

Welcome to a superfluous post in a dispensable music blog. This isn't news: Ssion rules.





I've got Ssion fever.





According to my research, he has been doing cool things in Kansas City, Missouri, since around 1996. He directed a bunch of music videos for bands like Liars and Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Ssion's music videos are the best. Watch them all. The video for Clown looks like it cost a million dollars to produce. I don't know all of the details of his discography, but Fool's Gold came out a few years ago and fucking rules. Then Bent was released sometime last year and fucking rules.

Let the fun begin it's time to let down your hair

Utopia is inherently impossible because, as Woland said:

 "in order to govern, one needs, after all, to have a precise plan for a certain, at least somewhat decent, length of time. Allow me to ask you, then, how can man govern, if he is not only deprived of the opportunity of making a plan for at least some ridiculously short period, well, say, a thousand years , but cannot even vouch for his own tomorrow?" 

QT

Utopia can only exist within a person's head, and even then, only in brief spurts. In conclusion, Ssion creates brief queer utopias. 

Mirror Kisses - Soaking Wet

For information that is germane to this band, check out their website (www.mirrorkisses.com). I want to abort any pretense that I wrote anything other than an incompetent post here today. The following brief paragraphs will degenerate lickety-split into a lot of subjective crap culled from latent, feminine, witch-desire.

True fact: a couple of babes from Harrisonburg, Virginia, released an album that can lather a soul up with non-water-based lubricant, and then penetrate that soul with rad, nostalgic synth-pop. These boys don't dip in unprotected, though. They wrap it up in sincerity. It is as clear as a crystal that this album was conceived and produced to make people make-out. It's a divine contribution to the virtuous genre of sex music.

A couple of babes

This album is girl.

That doesn't make sense, but it's true. It's called, Soaking Wet, which is what happens to girls while they listen to it. The word girl is used at least 40 times throughout the record. They are based in Virginia, which sounds a lot like VAGINA.

My intuition tells me that Mirror Kisses are witches, and Soaking Wet is a love spell. Beware: this album is easy to get strung out on. Soaking Wet is available for free download via their bandcamp, via their website.

Germ Hunk - I AM HUNK FOR HANDS AND DOG

Twinsies

I am a fan of hunks. All hunks are good, even germ. Germ Hunk is most likely a total babe(s). I could write about how I know Germ Hunk and often hang out in his garage reading Teen Vogue while he does chest presses in his underwear (boxer-briefs). All the hunk-sweat in the world would not be able to wash away the shame from telling such lies. Germ Hunk is a hot mystery.

Oh, and congratulations, Missoula: Germ Hunk is a local.

Apache Jackson - Soul Damage EP

Sometimes I put this EP on before I get in the shower so that when I emerge, cleaner, it's in the air. Who is Apache Jackson? I don't know. Maybe he is just a dude from Idaho who smokes weed all day. Maybe he is a business professional who never smokes weed. In my dreams, he doesn't smoke weed. In my dreams, he looks like a hetero version of Freddie Mercury. In the fog machine in the fog in my skull this is so.

Apache Jackson

For sure, people show interest when I play these songs. Someone always asks about it. I DJed at a bar once and while the hit "Hotline Getaway" melted the shirts off all the hunks, some guy came up to the booth and told me that it was his California friend's song or something something blah blah. Whatever he said I don't remember because I ignored him. I had a great time that night and when I have fun my heart is made of frozen darkness. If I could go back in time I would not be a disinterested jerk but rather a sweetie pie. He would then tell me all about his California pal who makes music that makes girls and boys want to rub oil on each other.